As a single mother, one of the things I've heard a lot
from the men I've dated is, "I don't want to compete with your son for your attention." Sometimes, they get creative with the phrasing; usually not.
But after ten years of hearing various iterations of the same thing, I have one thing to say about that:
Kids require attention. Require.
Good parents pay attention to their kids. My son is ridiculously extroverted and needs interaction. It is my job, as his parent, to interact with him.
You, however, are a grown-up. While I probably really like you and enjoy interacting with you, it is not
my job to interact with you. You, as a grown-up, should have learned to entertain yourself a long time ago.
It's not a competition.
I am not your mother.
Be a fucking grown-up.
Either you want me in your life, or you don't. But if you are going to resent my son for being a child and for being my responsibility, then we really don't have anything else to talk about.
One of the things that I appreciate most about whitebuddha
is that he gets this.